Where is God in our suffering?
(When I originally wrote this post, it was written from the distance of suffering I’ve endured in the past and while that pain is never very far away, it is not so very near anymore. But today, as I’m writing this insert, my family is once again suffering and struggling through unimaginable pain and as I was praying for us today, I was reminded of a lot of the wisdom God put into this post. I don’t say that to boast or brag as it’s not my wisdom by any means, these blog posts never are. But I decided to post this today for the person who needs it right now, for me right now, and for anyone else who is suffering and struggling to understand why right now. I wish I could tell you I had the “right” answer to the question “why?” but I don’t. That‘s not what this post is about, this is just some perspective I pray will help whoever needs it. Fair warning though, this post is a very in-depth discussion and quite a lengthy read but that’s only because God wanted me to address the question from many different angles, and focus on every place of doubt and confusion the enemy might try to press in. So, prepare yourself and here we go...)
A few years ago I lost my best friend in a car accident. She was only 19 years old. We grew up together, went to the same church, same pre-school and had countless sleepovers. She was an amazing human being and I miss her every day. The day that she died, I was driving home from work, loudly conversing with God (okay, I was yelling) and I kept asking Him, pleadin with Him for answers; “why?”. “Why her? Why now when she hadn’t even gotten to fully live yet?” “Why God?” And God instantly responded to me, with words I will never forget, “Because she’s mine, Because she belongs to me”. I shook my head not quite understanding. Did I somehow end up pledging my life to a selfish controlling deity with the attitude of a petulant child, who would just take someone I love without care? What kind of nonsense is that? I waited to hear His explanation because that’s not the God I've known and loved. I was sure that I had misunderstood the meaning and after a few minutes of patience I was proven right in that regard. God clarified His statement to me and helped me to see that He wasn‘t saying that HE took her because she belonged to Him, He was saying that she was a target because she was His. Her life was not disposable to God or cut short by His giant cosmic scissors. That is not His mode of operation and as I sought to understand what He was communicating to me on that challenging drive home, John 10:10 floated through my mind. “The enemy comes to steal, kill and to destroy but I have come that they may have life and life more abundantly.” You see, God was taking the time to lovingly correct me and remind me who the true enemy really was and that death and destruction are not apart of our heavenly father’s job description. Did that answer all my questions? Not really but it did give me a little perspective; it did renew a little bit of my trust in God’s motivations and it also, taught me a very valuable lesson that I have taken with me through every season of pain and struggle. That lesson is: Always allow God’s character to inform your understanding of whatever it is you’re going through. Don’t take the situation out of the context of His heart and motivations towards you because that’s where things get messy and false gospels spring up like weeds in our heart and minds. Now, I’ll be honest with you, it takes a lot of practice and time studying the character and promises of God, in order to really trust and know who He is enough to be able to hold fast to those truths in suffering. But believe me when I say, it is so incredibly important. Like having a center of gravity, understanding the character of God puts everything we go through in perspective and keeps our hearts from being misled. If you know who God truly is and what His motivations and intentions are for your life, then not only will you be able to see His fingerprints in everything but you’ll also be able to identify those fingerprints that are not His and see the spiritual side of the battle your facing like you’ve never seen it before.
And this is where we begin our study/discussion on Sovereignty versus Pain.
Before we even begin to try to understand how God’s sovereignty relates to the pain we experience in this life we must first define what sovereignty actually is because it’s a very "Christian” word that honestly, has confused a lot of Christians (including myself, at one point in time). Webster’s dictionary defines sovereignty as “supreme power”, “freedom from external control” and “controlling influence” which, in reference to God, basically means that God is not subject to anything and He has ultimate power and influence. He is in control and is not controlled by anyone or anything else. Now let’s compare that definition to the definition of what we might define as sovereignty in scripture because the word sovereignty, if you were not aware, is not actually found in the Bible, it is a theological term used to describe a Biblical principle about the character of God found in scripture.
So, let’s look at the Biblical principle of God’s sovereignty together, shall we? First we are going to hop over to the end of chapter 4 in the book of Daniel, where King Nebuchadnezzar (after He throws Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the fiery furnace and they come out completely unscathed) shares this sentiment about the sovereignty of God when He declares, “For His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom is from generation to generation. All the inhabitants of the earth are counted as nothing, and He does what He wants with the army of heaven and the inhabitants of the earth. There is no one who can hold back His hand or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’”. We see a similar statement in Isaiah 43:13 which says, "Even from eternity I am He, and there is none who can deliver out of My hand; I act and who can reverse it?" Nothing can frustrate God’s plan and He comes under the authority of no one. A definition which falls very much in line with Webster’s. God is fully in control of everything He does and He is King of all. In Jeremiah he even says, "Look, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too difficult for Me?” . In Colossians we see that, “in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.” The last few chapters of the book of Job detail heavily the sovereign power and authority of God as well. There are so many passages that show the truth of God’s omnipotence (unlimited power) and sovereignty.
So what about pain?
We’ve established that God’s sovereignty means that He is ruler of all, that He is in control and possesses ultimate power and influence. And if God is truly sovereign, if He is fully in control then doesn’t that mean He also has control over the pain we experience in this life? Some theologians would answer that question with a resounding "yes". However, this concept of God controlling our suffering and bringing us pain seems to be in direct contrast with His character as a good and loving God. Which leaves us with a crushing dilemma because it’s too easy for us to draw the conclusion that no “good God” would put His creation through such agony if He had the ability to stop it. So, either God is good but not powerful enough to prevent our pain or He is powerful and sovereign and also the source of our pain. C.S. Lewis describes this dilemma exactly when he states “If God were good, He would wish to make His creatures perfectly happy, and if God were almighty He would be able to do what He wished. But the creatures are not happy. Therefore God lacks either goodness, or power, or both.’ This is the problem of pain, in its simplest form.”
Which raises another question, the question of God’s goodness and what that really means.
When asked to define “goodness” many of us (including myself) would probably define goodness as a form of kindness or acts of kindness motivated by love and pure intentions but that is not entirely accurate. Sometimes loving someone and being good to them means showing them tough love. Sometimes goodness disagrees with someone, sometimes goodness seems unkind. For instance, imagine yourself standing at a street corner when you see a woman stepping off of the curb into the path of a bus and so you run to her and slam her backwards into the sidewalk, essentially saving her life. The force of your body and hers hitting the pavement causes her a great deal of pain and a broken wrist but she’s still alive. Now for her, having not seen the bus coming or going, what you did could seem cruel and unkind or even unnecessary but you saw the bigger picture and the bus in her path and you did the good thing, the right thing and saved her life. I would argue that, in some cases, this is the same thing we experience in our relationship with God. Sometimes the pain that does enter our lives is minor compared to the pain that could enter our lives if God wasn’t good and if God didn’t love us enough to step in the path of that oncoming bus we cannot see and push us out of the way. Now, this is a very specific type of pain and doesn’t account for all pain experienced in this life. However, it does help us to understand that “If God is Love, He is, by definition, something more than mere kindness.”( C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain) As God, He comprehends goodness on a level we could never understand and is good to us in ways we cannot even fathom.
The point has also been argued, “ Well if God's goodness is beyond our understanding, does that not mean He could be the cause of our pain and suffering? Perhaps for a good reason that is beyond our comprehension as human beings?” Absolutely, there are things we will never fully understand about God or suffering in this life. Just as thousands of years of research and technical development still leaves a vast hole in our understanding of the ocean’s depths and the galaxies. However, we cannot deny the relevance of our experienced relationship with God. For though our pain, in certain situations, could be necessary and even protective in ways we can't quite comprehend, there are too many deep-seated pains and experiences in this life that this theology alone cannot explain away or justify. Like rape, human trafficking and genocide. If God is indeed the source of humanity's pain, we can't ignore the types of suffering people endure and sometimes die as a result of, that are purposeless and often, leave them separated from God in this life and in the next. So, while goodness, again, does not suppose kindness as we might understand or experience it, bringing people unnecessary extreme and copious amounts of pain like the examples above, contradicts God’s character as He defines it throughout scripture. In fact, in an effort to reconcile God's character with our pain, some religious scholars think that the reason we experience unnecessary pain in this world (like sickness and disease) is because God’s sovereignty over things in this world ended when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the beginning. Seemingly, resolving both the issue of God’s sovereignty and control over our pain by attributing that pain to evil and sinfulness. While simultaneously, resolving the issue of Him being good or not by showing that He’s still good but He just can’t do anything about our suffering. However, this is also not what we see in scripture and would mean that God is not truly sovereign as He states (which would make Him a liar) because our free will (Adam and Eve’s free will) informs His sovereignty. Because as an all-powerful, all-knowing God He either didn’t know that free-will would create a boundary and a limitation for Him; that Adam and Eve’s sin would cause Him to lose His control and dominion over creation (so He’s not all-knowing). Or He knew everything and still allowed it to happen, allowing our present suffering to exist outside of His power and control which would mean that He isn’t really all that mighty or all that good. So, in truth, while these arguments may seem like decent explanations, they don't really resolve either issue in the dilemma of “good or sovereign” and actually create more confusion about God’s character, His sovereignty and His power. They do, however, raise an interesting question:
Who exactly is the author of pain?
There is a lot of debate, even in the Christian community, about who the author of pain really is. As I noted above, there are those who believe that because God is the author of life and everything in existence, He must also be the author of pain. The support system for this argument is often delineated in God’s use of pain as a launching pad for growth in our lives, Of course, it’s no secret that God does, in fact, use the most painful things in our lives and in our pasts to establish His kingdom work in us and through us. But does God really create our pain and put us through that agony in order to accomplish His good purpose or does He just use our pain to help us and grow us?
(Now we’re getting to the real questions)
From a more natural biological perspective, the reality of pain receptors and nerve endings in our body might suggest that God (being the creator of our bodies) intended for us to experience pain in this life, which is why we have such biological structures set in place. But does the ability to feel…necessitate pain? The same nerve endings and pain receptors that allow us to feel the stove burning through our skin also allow us to feel that same heat as comforting from a distance. Perhaps, God’s plan for our nerves and pain receptors wasn’t even the ability to feel pain but the ability to avoid pain. If we didn’t have those nerves or pain receptors that make us jerk our hand back instinctively from the heat of a fire when it grows too intense, we would probably burn our skin right off and handicap ourselves. “Hence, even in a perfect world, the necessity for those danger signals which the pain-fibers in our nerves are apparently designed to transmit.” (C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain) Subsequently, God giving us the ability to feel doesn’t necessarily make Him the author of pain. In the same way, His use of our pain for personal and spiritual growth doesn't make Him it's source.
So then where does pain come from? Is it an outer working of sin?
That seems a plausible argument doesn’t it? Most Christians understand that death entered the world as a result of Adam and Eve's sin in the beginning, (“Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned” Romans 5:12). The idea that pain also stemmed from that incident as well isn’t too far of a stretch. This approach views pain as a symptom of this broken and fallen world that we live in and not a construct of God which I believe is accurate. But then what of His sovereignty? What of His power and control?
If God is as good and as powerful as He claims to be, then why hasn’t He intervened in the brokenness and gotten rid of our suffering?
Well firstly, there is a type of pain we experience at the hands of other human beings in the exercise of their free will. And it is not that God can’t prevent wickedness that stems from free will but that if He were to do so constantly, and He would have to do so constantly to keep every human being alive free from pain, our free will would be irrelevant. God has in times past and present, performed miracles but the nature of a miracle is that, not only is it supernatural but it is a rare occurrence. If God interfered in the natural world as often as He would need to to prevent our suffering, shifting natural laws at will to perform miracles, then natural law would become obsolete. Therefore rendering free will impossible to exercise. (C.S. Lewis, Miracles) For example, if I try to hit someone with a baseball bat out of anger and the second I reach for it with the intention to hurt someone the bat turns into water and falls to the ground, then I am never actually able to exercise my free will which means it’s just an illusion and I am not really free to do as I will.
Earlier, I mentioned that oftentimes God uses our pain to accomplish His good purpose in our lives. And I have had so many people over the course of my life say things like “there is a reason for your pain” “God brought you to this for a purpose”, in their efforts to encourage. But those statements never really sat quite right with me and it took me awhile to figure out why. It took me going back to the character of God, like we discussed in the beginning of this post, and realizing that His heart is what I was missing from these beliefs. There is truth in them, God does bring reason and purpose to our pain but He isn’t the cause of it and that’s the underlying belief system in those statements. That God is responsibile for my suffering but I can take comfort in that even though He is putting me through it, He won’t allow it to be without “good” reason.
For a really long time, I wrestled with God’s role in my suffering, I struggled to grasp what possible reason He could have for my pain or for things like cancer and rape. I found myself facing the same dilemma “Good or sovereign” because with the deafening sound of our pain and sorrow screaming for His attention, there‘s no way He could be both right?
Some verses in the Bible and stories about Biblical figures make it seem like suffering is the pathway to victory that without the suffering there could be no glory, no testimony. And that is the “good” reason, that is the ultimate plan and purpose God has for us. But what kind of sovereign good God leads His people to glory through pain? “ − not the chosen pain of a sportsperson in training, but the unchosen pain of wounded children in war? Is this God not a perverse God, like the god of the Gnostics, whom Irenaeus blamed that he gives humans pain in order to be honoured as Saviour?” (Van de Beek, A., 2014, ‘Suffering in the perspective of God’s governance, eschatology and God’s council’)
Surely, as a sovereign and all powerful God, He could accomplish His purpose and bring His people to new heights without pain right? Right! God’s purpose and glory and grace do not depend on suffering to exist, if it did, that would mean, once again, He’s not really sovereign. Oftentimes, God uses our pain as a way to grow us and transform us and show us the places we need to become more dependent on Him but that doesn’t mean that God brings about our pain in order to accomplish His will. However, the mere fact that He can ground such deep and profound purpose in our brokenness and anguish speaks volumes more about His goodness and love, in that He would seek to bring value to our misery where otherwise no value would be found.
Now, there’s another belief system at large in regards to God’s sovereignty and the nature of our pain, that claims suffering is an intended part of our creation. That it’s a natural part of life, like birth and death which personally, I find really interesting. 100% false but interesting nonetheless because again it paints God as the author of pain. It’s the belief that suffering “belongs to the world’s very being” and that is why God has not rid the world of it. It basically says that pain is a part of God’s intention and plan for original creation and that the world is as it should be. However, the very process of salvation and our walk with God tells us that we are not even as we should be, so believing that the world is as it should be, in all of its corruption and chaos, is contradictory to the word of God and the entire message of the book of Revelation about Christ returning and wiping away this old world to establish His new kingdom. Death is also not a natural part of the life God intended for us to lead, it’s a consequence of sin, as is suffering, pain, evil, sickness and disease. We grieve these things because our spirit knows they’re not right, our spirit grieves the distortion of God’s intent and the stain that sin has wrought on us. If suffering was an intentional construct then it would’ve been there in the garden before sin befell them, it would also probably be a part of the new kingdom as well but scripture specifically states “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” In other words, the pain we experience in this life is not a creation of God nor is it something He intended for us to experience in perfection but it is a reality of this world and this life which will one day be extinguished.
So, if God is not the source of our pain in all His power and sovereignty then who is?
The truth is there’s a lot of responsibility to go around and we bear some of it. (Don’t get all up in your feelings just yet, hear me out) There is a measure of pain that we are responsible for because of our choices and our sinful actions. Pain we bring on others in the exercise of our free will but also pain we bring to ourselves. In Genesis chapter 3, after Adam and Eve have sinned God speaks to them about the consequences of what they’ve done. God says to Eve,
“I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children in anguish. Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you. And He said to Adam, “Because you listened to your wife’s voice and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘Do not eat from it’: The ground is cursed because of you. You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground, since you were taken from it. For you are dust, and you will return to dust.”
I’m sure you noticed that it’s God speaking when He says “I will intensify your labor pains”, not sin, not the devil. So I understand how it can seem as though God is the one bringing about this pain in the lives of His creation BUT that is not the reality of what we’re seeing here. God didn’t intensify Eve’s labor pain unnecessarily or because He needed to do so to accomplish His will. He didn’t do it because He’s angry or vindictive or because He felt like it. Adam and Eve sinned and now they’re dealing with the consequences of that sin, the reality of their separation from God and they are experiencing God’s righteous judgement as it pertains to sin ( I mean, Eve is now giving birth to children who should be innocent but are stained with sinful nature because of her actions). This is a kind of pain (brought by righteous judgement) that we’re not super familiar with because we’ve been freed from the law of sin and death due to Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross. So where the law required justice now the grace of God is the just requirement for the law. But that doesn’t mean we are free from all the negative side effects of our sin. Part of the pain Adam and Eve dealt with is the same kind of pain we experience after sinful actions like having an affair and cheating on a spouse. Where the suffering, the consequences and the effects to a marriage and a spouse cannot be undone or avoided. Our sin bears weight, it will always cost us something covered in grace or not. We bear that responsibility and while this, again, is not true of all pain and suffering it is true of some.
Before we move on, I wanted to note that when God says that He will intensify Eve’s labor pains, that statement would seem to suggest that there was a measure of pain present in birth to begin with that is being intensified BUT I believe that this is the same “pain” as what I described above in reference to our nerve endings and pain receptors. Not the pain we understand and experience in our fallen state but rather the ability to feel. I’m sure you can imagine, in the process of labor during Eve’s time without doctor’s and technology, how the ability to feel what's going on in her body and recognize discomfort would be so incredibly important and necessary. Now while suffering and death can all be attributed to sin in some manner, there is also someone else who has some responsibility where it concerns our pain and that is, the evil one (AKA Satan, The Devil, Lucifer, The Fallen Angel, whatever you want to call him). The Bible says in 1 Peter 5:8 that the enemy “prowls around like a roaring lion looking for whom he may devour.” He is always searching for the opportunity to bring about pain and destruction in our lives, especially as God’s children, that is his mode of operation. He sends out his little minions and spirits and evildoers, laying traps for the innocent and opposing God’s chosen people. But Satan is not a god, though I’m sure he’d like it very much if you bowed down and worshipped him. He doesn’t have the ultimate authority or last word, his presence is unauthorized but evenso, he is still very powerful. In John 12:31 Jesus calls Satan “the ruler of this world” but that is not to say that Satan somehow has more power and authority than God when it comes to this world. Satan has influence and power on this earth because of our fallen state and our sinful nature which is like an open door for him but his power is limited, his presence temporary and his destruction imminent. One day the doorway will be shut and the enemy extinguished but until then we have to be aware of the target on our backs and the opposing march against the kingdom of God in us and on this earth. A lot of Christians don’t like to think about the power of the enemy and his cohorts but the world is their playground and there is scriptural evidence of their handiwork in the lives of men that shouldn’t be ignored. In Matthew chapter 9 a demon is cast out of a dumb man who immediately begins to speak once the demon has left him. And again in Matthew chapter 12 a man who was blind is suddenly able to see when the demon is cast out of his body. So there are times when the pain and suffering people experience in this life is actually a strategic attack of the enemy and spiritual warfare. But we should never fear, as those belonging to Christ, we are protected having the Spirit of the living God alive inside of us. We have power and provision and protection the enemy cannot steal or erase and that’s why he makes it his mission to destroy us because we are a threat, because we belong to the kingdom of heaven and through our very existence we crush the powers of sin and darkness.
It is not hard to understand why pain and sovereignty seem to oppose each other:
God is not the author of pain nor a supporter of it but He uses it;
Pain is not outside the realm of His control or outside of His power but it still exists.
The existence of pain, however, does not negate the sovereignty of God nor is it an insult to His character as a loving, just and good God. Not everything that happens is the will of God but the fact that He is all-powerful means that His will will be done. His power is not diminished by those things He doesn’t create or establish because He is powerful enough to anticipate and supersede it. Just look back at the story of Adam and Eve for a second (for the hundredth time in this blog post, I know) and notice how God’s plan of redemption was already set in motion before Adam and Eve even left the garden (Genesis 3:15). His plan for relationship and fellowship with us wasn’t destroyed it was deepened. He wrote the greatest love story of all time with the blood the enemy shed. The enemy, in his pride, said “Look what I’ve stolen from you: your precious creation, your precious fellowship” and God answered by literally stepping down from His throne to take up residence in our hearts and establish a deeper fellowship than anyone could’ve imagined!
Furthermore, God’s sovereignty is not His permission to be a distant God far away from His miserable creation groaning in agony but rather, God’s freedom to suffer alongside His creation to meet us where we are at, and provide us with victory and a freedom of our own. Some people might disagree with the idea that God suffers with us but Jesus is the response to our cries of “You couldn’t possibly understand!” because the God we meet in scripture is deeply affected by our pain and sorrow. God took our pain so seriously He joined us in it and there is no better, kinder, more loving response than that. Jesus was tempted as we are, He experienced pain as we do, He suffered grief, loss and heartbreak as we do and there is not a pain that we have or will suffer through that God Himself hasn’t suffered. I’d even go so far as to say His pain was magnified by the billions on that cross because He suffered and took on the pain of all mankind, not just your individual pain and mine but the collective agony of all. Through the plan of salvation, the incarnation, the resurrection and the restoration God gave our pain purpose, He made our pain worth it. Paul said it best, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18)
So where is God in our suffering?
He’s right there with you offering all that He is and all that He has. As comforter, Healer, redemption, refuge, fortress, king of all kings, God of heaven’s armies, Justice bringer and judgment, your vindication, your protector and provider, shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine in search of one (in search of you!), strength in weakness, light in darkness, hope where no hope can be found. He is your spiritual warrior, giant killer, beast slayer and He has not abandoned you! He said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deut. 31:6; Hebrews 13:5-6) The Bible says what the enemy intends for bad God will turn it around in your favor (Genesis 50:20; Romans 8:28) and He is the miracle-working God of Abrahams’ yesterday and your tomorrow. I know that’s a lot of bold words for one paragraph but these are the promises God has given you for your life. These are the names He tells you to call Him and this is the truth you can depend on and hold God accountable to. The Bible is called “God’s word” for good reason, it’s not just His message but His word/promise that He has given to you. And no matter what happens in this life, you have this promise in Christ and this assurance in your shared inheritance that nothing can pluck you from the hand of God and God will have His just reward, as will you!
Relevant scripture
John 10:27-30 “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, for my Father has given them to me, and He is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand. The Father and I are one.”
Isaiah 61:8 “For I the Lord, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them”
2 Timothy 4:8 “Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.”
Psalms 22:24 “For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help."
2 Thessalonians 1:5 “And God will use this persecution to show His justice and to make you worthy of His kingdom, for which you are suffering.”
1Peter 5:7-9 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.”
Hebrews 2:14-18 “Because God’s children are human beings –made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could He die, and only by dying could He break the power of the devil, who had the power of death. Only in this way could He set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying. We also know that the son did not come to help angels; He came to help the descendants of Abraham. Therefore, it was necessary for Him to be made in every respect like us, His brothers and sisters, so that He could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. Then He could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people. Since He himself has gone through suffering and testing, He is able to help us when we are being tested.”
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