We are funny creatures.
And often forgetful creatures.
As we move from one season of life to another, it’s like we become that guy in the Bible who saw his reflection in the mirror and then walked away and forgot what he looked like. And repeat. And repeat.
When I started this blog I had so much hope and so many ideas about what God could do with it. I was full of excitement and passion and nervousness but for some reason, it never crossed my mind to prepare for battle.
I mean sure, I was ready for internet trolls and people with “constructive criticism” but spiritual ware-fare? The actual enemy? I seriously dropped the ball on that one.
It’s funny because it’s not like I’ve walked a day on this planet without encountering some sort of spiritual ware-fare. It’s not like I’ve gone into any new season of my life like it’s a lovely leisurely stroll. There have always been battles, there have always been struggles and fights to keep my head above water. Every time I move towards God in a significant or let’s just be honest, even a small way, I find myself at war. Things that I haven’t struggled with in a while that have been silenced for a long time suddenly start speaking again. Things I’ve never struggled with I suddenly start wrestling with. Patterns of thinking, behaviors, issues with willpower and motivation, anxiety, fear, etc. The second I move towards God or receive His movement in me, the enemy’s battle drums start beating and my heart and mind start looking like a battle scene from The Lord of the Rings. This giant army of struggle and darkness starts marching towards me with determination and ambition, trapping me in with my little spark of light.
So, I don’t know why I always forget that when I start moving in a new direction or rededicating myself to some creative pursuit God put on my heart, that there’s a spiritual reality to that.
It’s not just the battle I will face in terms of my motivation and passion and other people’s opinions or thoughts but the very real, targeted spiritual attack on any forward movement I try to make with God or for Him.
There are probably so many people out there, so many of you reading this right now, who are trying to move forward with God and are being deterred by the walls and the battlefield that has been erected in front of you. You’re probably thinking “maybe this is not what God wants me to do”, “I should just let this go”, “if there’s this much opposition, it’s because I’m not supposed to be doing this”. But dearly loved one, the more opposition you face in the spiritual the more likely it is that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Opposition typically means that whatever you are trying to do is a threat and the enemy is trying to make sure you don’t get it done by bringing up insecurities and fears, overwhelming you with anxious thoughts, by keeping you busy with other things or keeping you complacent and unmotivated and lazy. There will always be reasons why you shouldn’t do something. I can think of ten right now for why I shouldn’t be writing this post but here I am, pushing past my feelings and discomfort knowing that God’s peace awaits me on the other side.
As you step into the things of God, do yourself a favor and be aware of your enemy, be prepared for the struggle and the fight because I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but you will have one. The enemy will never let you grow in intimacy and depth without doing everything in his power to stop you. So when you feel that laziness creeping up, when you feel that anxiety, when you feel that pull towards questionable ideas and that urgency of busyness taking over your time with God and your time doing the things He has put on your heart to do, recognize the spiritual ware-fare for what it is and take up your shield and your sword. Don’t let the enemy deter you or scare you away with his intimidation tactics. Don’t let him taint what God has given you (the dreams, the vision, the creativity) don’t give him power where he shouldn’t have any. (And if you want to make him really angry, do the thing you feel least like doing because that’s usually where he sets up camp)
The battlefield of your heart and mind may look like something out of The Lord of the Rings right now but your God is so much bigger than the earth you are standing on and when He says “walk”, know that you walk with His protection and provision and purpose around you. You are not alone on this battlefield, you are not alone in the spiritual wars you face. God has called you MORE than a conqueror, do you know what that means? It means that not only are you victorious in battle, not only are you pushing the enemy out of his own territory and taking over but you are unstoppable with God in your corner. You don't just conquer, you annihilate. Jesus didn't just conquer death, He overruled it, He annihilated it, He silenced it forever, He rose from the dead and tore the gates apart. That's what it means when it says you are more than a conqueror, you are His and you share in His power and in His victory and in His reign over sin and death. He has equipped you with spiritual weapons that far surpass your enemy’s. So literally the only hope the enemy has ever had of leaving this battlefield somewhat intact is to convince you that you are powerless and weaponless and alone. Those lies, that's all he's got and that's the only way he survives the impact of what God is doing in you and through you.
So don’t be like the guy who kept forgetting what he looked like every time he stepped away from the mirror. Don’t forget who you are in Christ and what that means for the kingdom of darkness when you move from one season of life to another. Don’t forget the battles you’ve faced before, use them, let them remind you and equip you for the ware-fare ahead of you. Be wise and remember how your enemy moves and works because his weapons never change just his strategies and his approach. If you can remember that, you can conquer whatever issue (fear, anxiety, insecurity, shame, anger, etc.) he throws your way in every form your enemy tries to present it in because you’ve already done it before. God has already brought you through it.
Our enemy likes to think he’s sneaky sending the same things, the same traps, our way over and over again dressed in a new costume but he’s not. And if you can look past the costume, if you can see past the facade and recognize “Oh, this is anger I’ve already dealt with.” or “This is fear about death which God has already overcome in me” you don’t have to keep playing the game. You can cut the enemy down where he stands and keep walking.
Only a few days ago, I found myself struggling to see the good in my situation. I was overwhelmed by all the shadows that had surrounded me and for a couple of days there, my hope started waning. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with that so I just sat in it. I sat in the hopelessness, in the feeling of abandonment and I gave ear to that voice that kept telling me all of this was somehow my fault while simultaneously shouting at me “and there’s nothing you could possibly do to fix it, you’re not strong enough”. For a second there, I was so confused I let that voice take on the tonality of my Spirit and actually started to believe God was trying to tell me that I messed up or that His plan for my life was for me to be sick for the rest of my life. I actually started to believe that nonsense until I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “That’s not true and you know it. You know who I am, you’re smarter than that.” And I realized, like the parable in scripture about the dog returning to its vomit, I was once again eating the same garbage up. (That’s a lovely image isn’t it, sorry about your lunch)
When I took a step back, I started to see the pattern, I noticed the same words and fears God and I had already dealt with were trying to shove their way back into my heart and brain again. Fear of death came masquerading as wisdom, “Something’s going to happen to you soon, so it’s wise you prepare for it by getting your affairs in order. You won’t make it very far”.
Worry and anxiety were not quite as subtle when they started shouting “Someone else you love is going to fall soon and then another and another and you won’t survive it this time, you won’t come back from it”.
Doubt came wandering back like an old unwanted friend, “Where is God? Did He plan all of this, is this apart of His big great master plan? Maybe all those dreams and visions were just lies you told yourself for comfort. God never said “temporary” did he?”
Shame went for the throat this time around when it whispered “Oh you? You’re too broken to be valuable, you know what I’m talking about. You’re too scarred to be worthy, that damage is done and it is unrepairable” and the “And God just left you that way, to fend for yourself” was implied.
I know these lies, they came in brand new packaging but it’s the same old junk.
Ever heard of "Deja-poo"? It’s an adjective. It means “I have a feeling I’ve heard this crap before.” (You can thank Pinterest for that one and pardon my french)
And trust me I have. (Thanked Pinterest and heard this crap before) You probably have too if you’ve read any of my other blog posts. They are the same fears, the same anxieties, the same shame I always talk about, just dressed for a different occasion. (I wonder how many different ways I can say that)
I mean I’m sure by now, you’re as frustrated with me as I am, you’re probably like “Ashley, we went over this already. You know this stuff.” And to you I say “Touché” and also “Ditto”.
You should know by now that you have a target on your back. You know this stuff too. You know that every step towards God is trampling on the kingdom of darkness and the enemy doesn’t take a conquering well. He’s the worst sort of loser and he will do everything in his power to make you feel small when you’re at your biggest and brightest, to make you feel stupid when God has given you something important to say, to make you too busy for quiet time and rest when you need it the most, to make you feel unloved and unworthy at the exact moment God’s heart is aching and overflowing with love for you.
It’s his job to oppose God, it’s the darkness’s job to oppose light, it’s sin’s job to oppose grace, it’s shame’s job to oppose love, it’s doubt’s job to oppose the people of faith. And that should tell you something, that should give you some insight into the truth, into the reality that Opposition = opposite. That the type of opposition you’re experiencing and the level of it is directly related to the type of work and the magnitude of what God is trying to do in your heart and in your life at that very moment.
Opposition and spiritual ware-fare and battlefields are not symbols of abandonment or a lack of protection or power in your life. The size of the army and the attack is a direct reflection of the size of the giant living inside of you. No one sends an army to take down one soldier, not unless that soldier is far more than they appear to be and backed by some serious power with some sort of incredible reputation that precedes them. You may not know your reputation yet but the devil does, he knows who you are going to become, he knows your destiny just like he knows the implication of you reaching it. He also knows the power that’s behind you and in front of you and beside you. He knows God’s little lambs have a fierce shepherd. He knows that lone soldier out on the battlefield only looks like they’re alone. He knows you are more than you appear to be even if you don’t.
So wake up and smell the stench of that garbage he’s been feeding you friend cause it reeks of false. It smells like the pit it came from, it reeks of smoke and death and lies.
“Don’t go nose blind. Breathe happy, Febreeze, La La La La La” (*I couldn’t resist, I’m sorry I’m not sorry*)
Dear one, you are not as weak or as powerless as you sometimes feel. You are more than you have been led to believe and you don't have to settle for just surviving. You don't have to settle for just enough strength to make it through the day when your supply is unlimited. You don't have to listen to that voice (that sometimes sounds like your own voice) telling you "you can't" and "you won't" and "you're busy" and "who cares anyways". Look at the promises! I know I say this ALL THE TIME but it bears repeating because I know I need this mantra in my arsenal. Look at the promises, they tell you who you are and who the enemy is. They tell you how the battle ends, who wins and who loses. They tell you who reigns. Don't forget it, keep it close to your chest, grip it tightly because those words are your sword and your shield.
Look at the promises.
Romans 8:31-39 "More than a conqueror"
James 1:22-25 "The parable of the man and the mirror"
Proverbs 26:11 "The dog and the fool"
1 John 4:4 "Greater is He that is in you"
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 "Weapons of our ware-fare"
Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon formed against you..."
Ephesians 6:11-17 "Your sword and shield"
Luke 10:16-20 "Authority"
1 Corinthians 10:13 "Power over temptation"
Isaiah 41:10 "God with us"
Revelation 20:10 "Our enemy's future"
Comentarios