(This is a hasty post so please forgive my grammar)
I use my platform as a place of transparency, a place to speak about difficult issues, issues of life and faith but this morning, as I was listening to a conversation between Pastor John Gray and Pastor Steven Furtick, I realized...I have failed my family
(Pleeeassee watch it if you haven’t already! I will put the link below when they upload it, because it is such an important conversation)
I have allowed numbness to creep into my heart, willingly allowed it in, because I felt like the pain was too much for me to handle. I was overwhelmed and broken by the brokenness of our world and the oppression of a group of people in our world, the systemic issues, the hatred and absolute dehumanizing patterns and beliefs that exist in our society as it pertains to racism. I was exhausted by the weight of all those emotions and all the anger and frustration I was holding inside. So I let the cries for justice and the agony of so many, fade to the background in my heart and my mind. I allowed myself to push the reality of our world aside so I could just live in my little part of it and deal with the monsters that tried to overcome my little part of it.
I stopped listening, stopped paying attention to the hurt and suffering of so many, not because I didn’t care about it but because...you know what, I’m not going to let that go that easily because if I truly cared about it the way I should have, the way God commands me to, I would never have stopped listening or stopped paying attention. I would have sat there in the pain and the hurt and the injustice and I would’ve allowed the Holy Spirit to move in my heart the way that He needed to.
I allowed apathy to take hold and I know why I did it, to cope, to survive, to breathe easier but I sacrificed my brothers and sisters in order to breathe easier. I ignored their pain so I could feel lighter. I stayed quiet and distant so I didn’t become too overwhelmed or too stressed, while my global family needed support and love and prayer and righteous anger and action. I failed my family and I’m here right now, talking about this right now, admitting my mistakes and shortcomings because I know I’m not the only one.
We have a problem, church family.
Something in us is broken. Something we have allowed to be broken because when it’s working it’s uncomfortable. When it’s functioning correctly, it’s difficult to feel and it’s impactful because it requires repentance in this broken world, it requires change, it requires action.
But we have allowed ourselves to become desensitized to violence and injustice, we have become numb to the cries of our family all over the world and in our congregations who are terrified everyday, just living and existing in our world. We pat ourselves on the back when we pump our fist at the appropriate times and then we go back to our little part of the world and forget about the bigger issues, the bigger monsters that are running rampant in our society. We are so focused on ourselves and our problems that we forget we have been called to greater things, that we were COMMANDED to stand up for the oppressed, to be God’s hands and His beautiful feet in this world, that WE are the ambassadors of light in this darkness, that WE are responsible.
This isn’t about feeling guilty or feeling ashamed, this is about standing up and being different, being an advocate in our communities, being an impactful presence in this world, being a family and caring for our brothers and sisters in a genuine and felt way. EVERYDAY. Not just when injustice makes the news, not just when something horrific happens to a human being on the other side of the country or in our county. EVERY DAY, we should be praying, we should be
rising up, we should be reaching out, we should be united on this, we should be seeking justice, we should be protectors and advocates and ambassadors and bridges and connectors. Every single day!
I have to apologize for my apathy and my numbness, I have had to ask God’s forgiveness for ignoring the cries of His beloved so that I could feel comfortable.
Yes, it’s overwhelming and it’s hard to hear and the conversations are difficult to have but it is so very necessary if we want to see change. We have to allow it to overwhelm us and confront us, it needs to continue to make us uncomfortable because there is NO WAY we should ever be comfortable with what is happening in our world right now as it pertains to Racism. In no world of God’s, should His people, His church, His children ever be comfortable with injustice and murder and oppression and the suffering of those created in His image. In NO WORLD do the names: George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Eric Garner, Philando Castile, Trayvon Martin fade into the background of our consciousness. Their names should become the battle cry of our generation raging against the dark, raging against the enemy and evil in this world, raging against injustice and immorality and the spiritual brokenness that leads us there. There is no world in which God allows His church to forget those names or ignore their innocent blood that was spilled.
And we are responsible, I am responsible for my apathy and my numbness and for what I do now.
Family, we cannot expect to live for God and live comfortably, that is not how this works. Jesus was killed for the gospel He brought, He was killed for the waves that He made in His culture, in His generation and we will have opposition in this age. We will have to fight and do battle for our family and for any forward movement we try to make in the kingdom of God but that should not deter us, it should motivate us. Everytime we see injustice, everytime our heart is broken by the state of affairs in this world, that should light our fire even further and push us to do more and reach farther and speak up and take action.
I don’t want us to think about these beautiful people as IF they were someone in our family, as IF George Floyd was our father or our uncle or our friend. It is not a matter of IF, it is a matter of IS. George Floyd IS a human being, he IS our family. Breonna Taylor IS our sister, our friend. Trayvon Martin IS our brother. We are family, no matter where we live or where we come from, or the color of our skin, or how the world would label and divide us, WE ARE FAMILY in the kingdom of God. We are linked as God’s creations, made in His magnificent image. We are connected, We are related, We are equal, We are loved and valued and important, We are HIS. All of us. And as those belonging to Christ, we have a responsibility to not only share the gospel but to walk it out, to not only live in fellowship with God but to let that fellowship live in and through us and impact the world around us.
You may think that your voice is small and insignificant in this war we are facing, you may think you don’t have a platform or the wisdom or the understanding to really speak on this issue. You may think that it’s not your place or that you are not qualified. You may feel uncomfortable and you may be thinking “what could I possibly do that would make a difference anyways?”. Well, let me remind you as the Holy Spirit reminded me this morning, even the smallest light dispels darkness and it doesn’t matter if you have a soapbox, a stage or your feet are standing on the dirty dusty floor this morning, your voice matters. Your heart matters in this battle. Your prayers matter. Your perspective matters. Your righteous anger at the injustice happening matters.
It matters in your home, in your community, in your circle of friends. Your repentance, your acknowledgement of your mistakes and shortcomings and ignorance, it matters. Your fight, your rage against the darkness, it matters and it makes a difference in the spirit whether you realize it or not. It makes a difference when people start lighting fires in the darkness, even if you feel far away from the problems, even if you think lighting your fire is insignificant because it will never reach the people it needs to reach. You may be right about that but you have no idea what God can do with that fire inside of you, a light in the distance is better than perpetual darkness and silence. That fire your lighting in your home, in the distance, can offer hope and strength to someone who can’t see a way out and who is terrified in their surroundings. Light that fire, not for you or your agenda but for someone else in your circle, in your community, in your congregation, who needs to know that you are with them, that they are not alone, that someone sees them, that someone acknowledges their pain and their suffering and is unwilling to stay quiet, that even in the distance there are people raging against the darkness with and for them. That there are warriors on their side, that they have an army of brothers and sisters behind them taking up their cause. You may not make a world of difference with your righteous anger and your compassion and your little wildfire but you can make a difference in someone’s world by positioning yourself to be used by God and allowing Him to stir up love and compassion in your heart for the people He places on your path.
And that is what it’s going to take to change this, individual people making this personal and allowing the Holy Spirit to move in their hearts. A church, The Body of Christ, lighting fires everywhere they go and standing up against injustice in every little way that they can. A church united, A Kingdom assault on the kingdom of darkness, an army of righteously angry, justice seeking, beast slaying, hungry for change, passionate people that refuse to stand aside or stay quiet, that utterly refuse to ignore evil and it’s many outcroppings.
So please don’t do what I did and ignore the news articles and the pain and the fear so many are experiencing right now. Don’t do what I did and ignore the conversations or the blog posts or the videos that are rising up to the top of your news feed on Facebook and Instagram because “you’ve already got so much on your plate and it’s too hard to deal with”.
Pray and let God guide you in this, ask Him to help you deal with the world around you in a healthy and Godly way and ask Him to show you how to make moves in your life that will make a difference. Pray and seek Him and then do what He tells you to do when He tells you to do it, uncomfortable or not, difficult or not, humbling as it may be, be obedient.
Our family needs us right now and God needs us to be present and aware for our family.
I love you body of Christ, my brothers and sisters and I am with you always, for you always, behind you always, beside you always.
To the families of those who have been wrongly taken before their time,
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and the fear and the anxiety with which you and your children and your family carry with you as you walk through this life. I am appalled and broken and hurt and angry for you because of the brokenness in our world and in our government systems. I have no words to offer you except that I am praying for you and I will fight with you and sorry is not enough. Apologies are not enough and change, though it is necessary and so impactful, it won’t be enough, it will come too late for your loved one. And I cannot express the broken heartedness I feel in this moment because of that. I will carry their names in my heart always, I won’t forget them, I won’t let my family and my people in my sphere of influence, forget them. They are written on our hearts always, as they are written on the heart of God. May their names and their stories be the fire that rages within us and stirs our hearts to repentance and genuine change.
We cannot afford to pretend like it’s not happening, because it is everywhere all the time, everyday:
Paul McCowns- trying to cash a paycheck when the teller called 911 citing a fraudulent check Rudy Samuel- pulled over for his turn signal and then asked to step out of the vehicle, handcuffed, for vegetation being stuck in his car window
Shirell Bates- accused of shoplifting, hiding things under her shirt, while pregnant
Darshaun RocQuemore Simmons- 15 years old, assaulted physically and verbally by an adult woman, for being invited to hang out at the pool with his friends
Jordan Rogers- 8 years old, had the police called on her for selling water bottles without a permit
Donte Robinson and Rashon Nelson- arrested for occupying a table at Starbucks, waiting to meet up with a friend
Dirone Taylor, Mekhi Lee and Eric Rogers II- three teenagers who were shopping at Nordstrom rack and had the police called on them, falsely accused of shoplifting
Lolade Siyonbola- Yale grad student, another student called the police on her because she fell asleep in their dorm’s common area
Kelly Fyffe-Marshall and three friends- neighbor called the police on them citing burglary when they were leaving their air-bnb rental
Uriah Sharp- 12 year old paperboy who had the cops called on him by a neighbor while on his paper route
Erika Martin- her and her family (including her children) were accused of shoplifting and had the cops called on them while delivering food and care packages to homeless people outside of a Safeway
Akil Carter- pulled over while riding in the car with his grandmother (who is white), detained because they thought he was robbing her after receiving a call about a white women being robbed by two black men nearby
Ahmaud Arbery- was 25 years old when he was killed by two white men (a father and son) while out jogging
Breonna Taylor- was an EMT and she was 26 years old when she was shot 8 times and killed in her own home, after officers forced their way inside
Eric Garner- was 43 years old, accused of selling single cigarettes outside of a store, the police attempted to arrest him, brutally, one officer putting him in a chokehold despite Garner’s cries of “I can’t breathe” and those were his last words because he died as a result of police brutality
Philando Castile- was 32 years old when he was pulled over for a traffic stop which ended in him being shot at 7 times and killed in front of his partner and her four year old daughter
Trayvon Martin- was 17 years old when he was shot and killed, when he was murdered, while walking home from a trip to the convenience store near where his father lived
George Floyd- was 46 years old when he was killed due to police brutality after being accused of paying for cigarettes with a counterfeit $20 bill. He was forcefully arrested and then held down on the pavement with an officer’s knee on his neck blocking his airway while Mr. Floyd cried out that he couldn’t breathe and pleaded for his mother. For 8 minutes that officer had his knee on George Floyd’s neck and by minute 6, George Floyd had no pulse and was unresponsive.
There is no world in which God would ever allow us to ignore this blatant and appalling injustice. Injustice isn’t even the right word, brutality isn’t strong enough. It is murder, it is hatred and it has got to stop, it is not just a sin problem it is a heart problem we have to fix within ourselves and hold each other accountable for. The truth about racism the enemy doesn’t want you to know is that it is a spiritual reality before it is ever a physical one and that’s where we need to take the fight.
Proverbs 31:8-9
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”
Psalm 50:6
“And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for he is a God of justice.”
Jeremiah 22:3
“This is what the LORD says: ‘Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place.
Matthew 25:40
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.
1 John 3:17-18
“If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
Psalm 82:3
“Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and oppressed.”
Video Link: "Become the Bridge" A conversation with Pastor Steven Furtick and Pastor John Gray
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7jTUfNyPkE
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