Updated December 8th, 2022
It’s that time of year again, where everyone comes together to celebrate the reason for the season. And for those of us who do acknowledge the Christ in Christmas, let's be real for a second shall we? Sometimes, it's easy to feel a bit numb to the Christmas story and the sight of a nativity scene, isn't it?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE the nativity scenes, I LOVE the representations of our faith and savior, and I LOVE the holidays but I often find myself grasping at straws trying to hold onto the Jesus in the season amongst all the lights and presents.
It’s all too easy for me to get lost in the holiday adrenaline rush. Especially, when themed cookies, holiday movies and beautiful wrapping paper is involved.
But this year, I’ve been asking God to help me focus on Him. This year I've been asking God to refresh my mind about why we give gifts and to instill within me the desire to sow the kind of generosity out into the world that really comes from Him. Not the kind of generosity brought about by the simple expectation of a holiday tradition.
Still, even after all my praying and seeking, I find myself reading my Christmas devotional monotonously, feeling like every scripture reference and thought is repetitious.
There's nothing wrong with repetition, truly, but it’s a little bit hard to feel moved by the same old song and dance EVERY year. Am I right?
A few days ago, I was battling this feeling of holiday-nothingness and I caught myself reflecting back on my year, thinking about how God felt more present to me three months ago (before the holiday rush even began) then He feels to me right now. During a time when everything is supposed to be and supposedly is about Him. And I couldn't understand why that was; why did I feel the farthest I'd felt from God all year, during His birthday celebration?
But that’s just it, isn’t it...
Christmas is a magical time of year because of the way it makes you FEEL. It's all about the feelings for us during Christmas time and unfortunately, feelings are fickle.
To the grieving, the Holiday season is painful; it doesn’t feel the same because something, or rather someone, is missing.
To the chronically ill, the holidays can feel stressful and physically draining.
To the anxious or depressed, the holidays can feel triggering.
There are so many physical, mental, spiritual and circumstantial realities that can taint our experience throughout the holiday season because of how they affect our feelings. Which can, in turn, make it difficult for us to tap into our relationship with God in the midst of it all. God isn't farther away from us, in any way, but with so many distractions out there, we can find ourselves empty and disconnected, celebrating Christmas in ways that are as artificial as our Christmas trees this year.
( No disrespect to Douglas, my family's artificial tree, who has witnessed many Christmas miracles and telenovelas in our household throughout the years and admittedly, is a little worse for wear. You still look good though Doug, let the haters hate. )
I mean, losing yourself inside the holiday fray can definitely help dispel the discomfort and unease we have during this season but in much deeper, more serious ways, it can make our holiday time so much worse.
Because truly, nothing is worse than going through something hard and feeling so far away from God. All the hot chocolate in the world won't fix that.
And whether the rest of the world understands it or not, God is all the joy and excitement of Christmas. Every good thing inside of us flows from Him. On our best day, we are merely reflections of what He inherently is. So, that generosity of spirit and cheerful heart we find so appealing during Christmas time; the desire to celebrate love and rejoice with the ones who really matter to us, that’s all God! All of that is coming from Him. All of that is His heart fleshing out in the world. We are merely imitating a heavenly reality in our own worldly way. Because, in case you didn’t know this friend, it’s Christmas everyday in heaven. The angels are always worshipping and praising; the heavens are always rejoicing over what God has done; there’s a birthday celebration EVERYday because of Jesus and because of what His sacrifice has done for every lost sheep and prodigal son.
And I think that can sometimes make us feel a little bit off during the holiday season because suddenly the world is acknowledging the person we’ve been celebrating all year. It's a beautiful collective moment, to be sure but it’s also just a moment for some people. Wheras, for most of us, it’s our everyday life.
I often feel like, during the holidays, I have to reach into this new untapped part of my relationship with God. Like I have to meet God at this special holiday level with my celebratory best. Isn’t that ridiculous? God didn’t change, He didn’t suddenly become more holy or more worthy on December 1st and I don’t have to suddenly become superficially spiritually affectionate towards Him either. I can just love Him like I already do and let Christmas be a reminder instead of this spiritual personality requirement. I can just be myself and we can just be US during the holiday season. Instead of me, trying desperately to raise the spiritual water table in my own life with my bare hands and a few sprigs of holly.
As if to not be on my holiday-best-behavior means I’m failing Him. As if me not crying every time someone recites the Christmas story means I don't care about what Jesus did for me. Like there's some extra special Christianity that springs forth when the nativity scene gets placed on the mantle and surrounded with lights.
You know what’s even more ridiculous than those wholly false ideas? The thought that my familiarity with Christ and with the word of God somehow disqualifies me or makes me a bad Christian because I’m not overtly awed by the sight of a nativity scene.
Now, let me be very careful when I say this, I’m not talking about being numb to God or desensitized to the gift of Jesus and the grace we have been so wonderfully blessed with. I’m not talking about not caring about God on Christmas, the same way some people don’t care about Him the other 364 days of the year. I’m talking specifically about feeling frustrated by this urgency to feel more just because it’s Christmas, when you live your whole year honoring God and fellowshipping with Him. I’m talking about this expectation I put on myself during the holidays to have all the feelings and feel this renewed sense of awe about something I spend my entire year in awe of.
(Can I get a witness or am I just chilling out here all by myself?)
Maybe the reason you don’t feel so extraordinarily moved by the holidays isn’t because you’re failing or missing something but because God isn’t just a holiday for you but an EVERY day.
You feel Him everyday, you talk to Him everyday, you see Him everyday and like any birthday celebration, it’s nice to reflect and be reminded of the details and sit in awe. But it’s also okay if it’s all a little familiar to you because I think God would prefer your familiarity every day than extraordinary awe once a year. I think He would prefer daily conversations with you over a beautiful traditional prayer only ever recited around the Christmas dinner table. Again, I’m not taking away from the power of those moments and how God can use that awe and use your willingness to draw closer during the holiday season to plant seeds in your life, but it’s also okay if God isn’t brand new to you every holiday. It’s okay to just bask in the peace you already have between you and God. To spend time with Him in the ways YOU feel led to even if it isn’t Christmas-y. To read a non-advent devotional because it’s what you need to hear, even if it doesn’t seem to be embracing the holiday spirit. And you know what, it’s even okay if you don’t feel all that Christmas-y or celebratory this year. God isn’t going to hate you or disown you, He knows what you’ve been dealing with and what you’re going through and why you feel that way, probably better than you do. Well, actually, better than you do because He's God. He has the utmost compassion and grace for you friend so, don’t beat yourself up because you don’t feel what you think you’re supposed to feel.
However, let me just say, it is also very important for us to not be ruled by our feelings. Sometimes our desires and affections align more with our flesh than our spirit; that’s just the nature of us as sinful human beings. Sometimes we want our version of peace over God’s because sometimes we want everything and anything but Him at the moment. But here’s the thing, feelings are just feelings they are not facts and you can’t allow your feelings to rule your life when they were created to serve you, not the other way around.
Feelings are good indicators of where we're at but they are also easily corrupted and misled. Sometimes you have to put your feelings in their place and say to yourself, “I’m going to be obedient despite how I feel right now” “I’m going to spend time with God even though I feel like distracting myself with TV”, "I'm going to take this grief to my Heavenly Father in prayer because I need help and I know He's the best caretaker of my broken heart", “I am going to choose God over my feelings and choose worship over worry and peace over fear”. Because sometimes what you feel is actually the exact opposite of what you need, which is totally strategic on the enemy’s part, by the way. The enemy will make you feel like spending time with God is the absolute worst most draining thing you could possibly do at the moment when in fact, it’s the only place where you will find that rest and peace you’ve been in desperate need of. The enemy will remind you of moments of correction in your past to make you feel like that’s all God wants from you; to correct you and tell you you’re a failure and you’re not doing enough. When truthfully, all God wants to do is encourage you and show you why He loves you so much because He knows that's what you need. Again, It’s important to recognize that feelings aren’t everything and it’s equally as important to not allow the enemy to convince you that God’s presence is some intrusive bombardment when it’s anything but that.
You're not feeling close to God this Christmas? So what? Feelings aren’t facts and He hasn’t moved an inch from your side. Not feeling the holiday spirit? Ask yourself what’s more important: feeling the holiday spirit or being led by the Holy Spirit. You don’t feel awed by the Christmas story this year? Maybe that’s because your soul needs a different story from the word of God this holiday season. Don’t be afraid to look elsewhere in the Bible for your time in the word this month. God's word is one big beautiful story of redemption and it all speaks to His glory. Connect with God the right way for you and let the gift of Christmas unfold in your life in its own beautiful way. Draw close to Him not because it’s Christmas but because you need Him. Spend time in His word not to pursue some special feelings of holiday holiness but to spend time with the one who held you while you cried three months ago and whispered that He loved you when you were falling apart back in April. Choose Him, not because everyone else is doing it but because no one else can do what He has done for you.
Christmas isn’t a celebratory moment for perfectionist Christianity, it’s a powerful yet quiet reminder of the love of God for us in our imperfection. Unconditional, undeserved and so freaking unfathomable. Celebrate the ways God has loved you this year and do it everyday that you have the opportunity to, not just in December.
For God so loved YOU! That’s the point of Christs coming at Christmas, that He loved YOU. The perfect good little-Christian you. The holiday holier than thou you. The pretending to feel the feels you. And the you that isn’t feeling it, isn’t pretending and feels like a failure. He came for all of you, every version of you. And if you find that awe, if God speaks to your heart in a fresh way this season and you feel so lit up with love for the Lord this Christmas, that’s wonderful!
But for those of you who maybe feel a little bit complacent or a little bit stuck, know that God sees you even there and loves you even still. Remember that Christmas was never about your ability to be a perfect Christian or even a good person because if we're going there, Christianity as a whole, isn't even about your ability to be perfect or good. It's about the fact that you could never be perfect; never be good enough so, Jesus came to be perfect and good enough on your behalf!
But I digress,
Christmas, simply put, is about accepting God’s love for you.
That’s all.
Accepting His love.
Not earning it, not performing for it, not throwing a Christmas parade in honor of it, just accepting it.
That’s the greatest gift you can give back to God this holiday season, to just accept His love for you wherever you’re at, whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re doing or not doing. Believing in His love for you and just sitting with that and letting your heart warm to His, that’s enough. Even if it’s an inner work and the lights never get put up and the tree doesn’t move from the attic and the nativity scene stays in its box. Your heart, your acceptance of Gods love for you displayed so astoundingly in the birth, life and death of Jesus, it’s everything.
All the decorations and traditions are symbols that mean nothing without the inner workings of the heart. Let yourself be loved this Christmas; let the light in. Let Jesus wrap you in His arms as you grieve. Let the Holy Spirit whisper words of love and affection and hope to you as you rest. Let God love you and let yourself be.
I’ve seen a lot of signs, banners, t-shirts and bumper stickers during this time of year shouting “Jesus is the real reason for the season” but that’s not quite true is it?
Yes, Jesus is the reason WE celebrate and go through all the holiday proceedings but you’re Jesus’s reason for even coming here in the first place. Which means, the real reason for the whole Christmas season is actually God’s love for YOU. I know, controversial to say in today’s very self-focused world Ashley but it’s still true.
You are Jesus’s reason for the season! So, while we stand around and celebrate the Christ in Christmas, all of heaven is celebrating the Christ in you.
“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.”
John 3:16-17 HCSB
“All the tax collectors and sinners were approaching to listen to Him. And the Pharisees and scribes were complaining, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them! ” So [Jesus] told them this parable: “What man among you, who has 100 sheep and loses one of them, does not leave the 99 in the open field and go after the lost one until he finds it? When he has found it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders, and coming home, he calls his friends and neighbors together, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, because I have found my lost sheep! ’ I tell you, in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous people who don’t need repentance. “Or what woman who has 10 silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? When she finds it, she calls her women friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, because I have found the silver coin I lost! ’ I tell you, in the same way, there is joy in the presence of God’s angels over one sinner who repents.” He also said: “A man had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate I have coming to me.’ So he distributed the assets to them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered together all he had and traveled to a distant country, where he squandered his estate in foolish living. After he had spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he had nothing. Then he went to work for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. He longed to eat his fill from the carob pods the pigs were eating, but no one would give him any. When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have more than enough food, and here I am dying of hunger! I’ll get up, go to my father, and say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired hands.’ So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father told his slaves, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found! ’ So they began to celebrate. “Now his older son was in the field; as he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he summoned one of the servants and asked what these things meant. ‘Your brother is here,’ he told him, ‘and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ “Then he became angry and didn’t want to go in. So his father came out and pleaded with him. But he replied to his father, ‘Look, I have been slaving many years for you, and I have never disobeyed your orders, yet you never gave me a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your assets with prostitutes, you slaughtered the fattened calf for him.’ “ ‘Son,’ he said to him, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ””
Luke 15:1-32 HCSB
YOU are HIS reason
"Ever Chasing God" by Jon Guerra
"Thanking you" by 116 feat. Hollyn & GAWVI
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